If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
