He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
