4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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