I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
