This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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