she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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