New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
so much tequila, so little girl.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
