yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
