I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
