problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
