I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
whose parrot is this?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
