Nicole vs. Life
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
