yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
