She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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