Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
