is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
