so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just high enough for therapy.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
