she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
