My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize