are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Hippo gnu deer
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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