Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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