Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
