He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
