Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
