you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
