too bad you live with your parents still
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize