Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
