and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
