I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
