Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
