I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
