i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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