you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
