My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
