OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
