But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
In other news, I just burned my penis
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
