barbara walters just said penis...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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