dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The air was thick with penises
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
