I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
