when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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