I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
