if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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