Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
