it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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