I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Acid is not a monday night drug
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
