Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
