Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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