i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
it was like eating out sand paper
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
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His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
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Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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