So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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