you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
