Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
