soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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