if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
