Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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