I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
