so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
