you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
