i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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