I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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