Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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