We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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